Monsoon Wedding (Mychael Danna)

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Yesterday was my first monthly Sunday off, as granted by UKF for all its designers. And just when I thought I would finally be able to go for a Sunday family trip like normal people, I was pulled into attending some of Fadelinah’s relatives functions. The first was a wedding and the second, a ‘cukur rambut’ thingie.

First and foremost, I hate attending weddings. Especially one where I don’t even know the relatives well and can’t tell them apart. Unless it is a close friend’s wedding, I do not want to stay there longer than half an hour. The only ones who seem to like weddings are ‘ping pong boob’ girls looking for suitors, unauthorised women jewellery models for Golden Chance and Zhulian and Live The Dream wannabes hogging the karaoke microphone. Even the food can’t tempt me enough … I have nasi minyak almost every week without somebody having to get married.

Yesterday’s was for Ayah’s side of the family and most of them are not the type of people I want to be associated with. Except for one or two, the rest have this ego thing going on. The parents especially, brag non-stop about their children’s so-called higher social standing. Even the younger ones try to potray themselves as such when their parents don’t take the initiatives.

  • Working in a Starbucks chain and whose employees are generally referred to as partners do not give you the right to proclaim it as though you are one of the owners and making tonnes of money overcharging customers. You do not have your dad’s social charisma so stop trying to succeed him.
  • Your daughter works as a nurse in a local hospital and is sometimes one of those referred to by a local polytechnic to assist students on intern. She is not a polytechnic lecturer so stop telling people she is.
  • Your daughter married an angmoh teletubby and living with him in some isolated farm in USA. That does not make you richer than your relatives or your grandchildren better looking.
  • Just because your son-in-law works for the police department does not authorise him to bring a gun to Malaysia everytime to guard his wife against kidnappers. You also claim he drives a ‘sports car’ and has Chubb security system installed in front of his pathetic HDB flat like a bank, yet you are always borrowing minuscule amount of money from Ayah to pay bills and never bothered to pay back unless asked to.

These are among the many crap you people churned out. You are all living in your own illusions and it makes me sick everytime I see your faces and have to give the fake smile, out of respect for the family but not for you. The family has given nicknames to some of you, which I find confusing to relate to as one might be suited for the other as well. Gagak, Gajah, Tiang Telipon, Tok Selampit … the list goes on. Every year I follow them for obligatry Hari Raya visits, new terms crop up. I find these visits hypocritical.

My side of the family is simpler. We don’t give them nicknames. We either visit them because we sincerely like them or  curse them to hell. My mum’s side has some weirdos too, but my dad’s side thankfully lacks in that department.

Luckily, the second affair was with more down-to-earth relatives from Ibu’s side. I sure hope no relatives get married on my next Sunday off.


~ by blackcadillac73 on September 3, 2007.

5 Responses to “Monsoon Wedding (Mychael Danna)”

  1. ping pong boobs?.. harharhar!!!

  2. Nasib baik bukan goli.

  3. Correction:
    1)Nurse does not equate to Clinical Instructor. CI lagi UP sket ok, don’t pray pray.
    BUT BUT BUT- Clinical Instructor IS NOT =lecturer. Lecturer kpala hotak bedengong!
    2)Married to santa claus lah, not teletubby. Teletubby muda dan hensem sket. And bear in mind, flight to SG from US can come up to 2K. Mana Old Macdonald nak cekau duit banyak gitu? Tanam jagung 2 hektar pun tak cukup.
    3)About the policeman. Eh, people hold high rank, you donch know meh? Wife damn gorgeous what, of course must protect, must bring ‘pistol kecik’ everywhere…people are cannot tahanlah see the wife so gorgeous, you ni punnnn…..

    P.S: I hope Tiang Telipon, Gagak, Volcano, Bapak Gagak, Mak Kambing, Lembu cari Rumput (Grazing Cow) dan kawan-kawan mereka takde computer/internet. Kalau tak, mampuihhh aku.

  4. hahahhahahah.
    hey, i also have weirdos on both sides of my family. but dun want to say cos my mum also reads my blogs and i wonder who else. *gulp*

  5. Deianira, you have more animal species within your relatives than the zoo. Don’t worry lah … they are all holding ‘high posts’ so don’t have time to surf the net. Even if they do, I don’t really care. I’m the President of Singapore. Don’t you believe me?

    Ibu Aisyah, hopefully your mum is not a relative of mine. 😛

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